Author Archives: Logan Melissa

About Logan Melissa

I got a thousand old records in my crib and I can out-Doom-lyrics you. YES, YOU.

Elvis Costello and the Attractions, Blood & Chocolate (Demon/Columbia, 1986)

Blood and Chocolate

Literally.
.

Bruce Springsteen, Darkness on the Edge of Town (Columbia, 1978)

Bruuuuuce

Chris Christie continues his clueless public fellating of The BOSSSSSSSS while remaining completely unaware that he is the villain of every song by The Boss, closing factories and forbidding his daughter to date the kid from the poor family and calling the Trenton PD to do a sweep of the homeless encampment down under the bridge. QUIT SHOWING UP IN GOOGLE SEARCHES OF “BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN,” JERKOFF.

X, Los Angeles (Slash, 1980)

X LA

Last year I did a Manzarek cover recreation that afforded me the opportunity to speak on the degree to which the Los Angeles musical group the Doors is overrated. I made a lot of boys in the Internet sad and mad with my words, because people are stupid and sensitive and don’t like to be faced with the fact that the band whose CD was playing when they first tripped with their older cousin in 8th grade is overrated as HALE and coasted on the fame wrought by its pretty-faced, pretentious lead singer. You’re probably thinking I’m posting this record just so I can revisit that kind of fun and cause some trouble – poke the emotional-music-nerd bear, so to speak. But you’re wrong – I heart Manzarek and his spooky keys, actually, and I’m posting this because 1) I needed an “X” record for my aLPhabet project, and 2) this allows me to finally FINALLY use the caption DAT JOHN, DOE.

(This one also gives me an excuse to daydream about Darby Crash and David Hidalgo meeting in an elevator and talking about being on the same label. Fun!)