Category Archives: Oh snap

And now I work there.

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“Los Angeles, 1965. Protesters carrying signs
take a break in front of the Federal Building.”

The Animals – “Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood.” February 1965. Eric Burdon’s voice plus that opening riff, a guitar/organ collaborative eargasmic situation. All y’all other ’60s British whiteboy bands better know.

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Lakeshowww. Katy is a biter. Basquiat/Jef/Adrock/MCA/Mike D. And Storchy.


1. Lakers win, Lakers win! So, y’know, maybe just pack it in and stay home the rest of the season, Everybody Who Plays For Every Other NBA Squad. PS – Ron-Ron’s hair! Ron-Ron’s hair!


2.
Katy goes for a PR stroll around Santa Barbara with her PR accessory, attempts to get you stuck off the realness.



I suppose it’s possible she actually knows that the words printed on her shirt are from the sacred texts of Mobb Deep, since this very writer is a fellow pale-skinned lady from a beachy Cali city who knows that those are Mobb Deep lyrics. However, NOPE and IMPOSSIBLE, as there can be only one. (And anyway, I prefer lyrics from Brooklyn MCs on my person.)


3.
I thought Dondi or Phase 2 was better than the Mona Lisa, because she was just a fat chick to me. – Def Jef


My Future Employer Wax Poetics posted Def Jef’s recollection of going to dinner with Basquiat at Mr. Chow’s in ’88, an experience also featuring my OG Judaic boyfriends the Beastie Boys smoking weed in the bathroom.

So, Jean-Michel was like, ‘Let’s go smoke weed in your car.’ So we went out, and we were smoking in my car, and I was like, ‘You a cool dude, man. You gonna be around?’ And he said, ‘I’m gonna be around forever.’ And I think he just meant, ‘Yeah, I’ll be there tomorrow.’ But time has created another resonance to his statement.

4. Gold staples seem like the kind of thing Storchy would have spent his money on in his cokey-ist, Fucking King of the World!, oh and did I mention I am a Golden God? moments.

“Child support? Nah. GOLD STAPLES are the move.” (that’s a direct quote from him, Miami circa ’06)


Intended primarily as a form of jewelry, these luxury pieces can be applied to clothing (or just about anything) with the help of your average stapler. Of course you can also impress your boss by turning in your next report decked out in gold. He will feel you. LOL/nice grasp of American slang, Dutch design site!

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Plug in the headphone, ’cause here it go.

LONDON—Max at Gee Street, 1999. [Peter Marlow / Magnum Photos]


Slate is sometimes annoying, like how it lets its writers post pieces claiming that Creed is good and underrated (shut up, Jonah Weiner. I know a Story Written Solely to Rile Up Readers and Be Shared Bloggily when I see one. Also, I’m pointing and giggling at your unfortunate last name).

Luckily, though, Slate is often amazing! For example, today’s photo feature “I Love This Song: Great Magnum Photos of People Listening to Music” is all…I need…to get by. I got a love jonnnnnes for its body and its skintone and I don’t care who knows it.

“Magnum looks back at the days when going to the record shop and playing a vinyl album or compact disc were physical, not virtual, activities.” Great, and the photos below are stunners, except I would like to pose the question Why act like these are days gone by? The past is alive and well, as evidenced by the numerous round black pieces of acetate with which I share apt. 302. I still cuddle with my music several times a week*, holding it in my hands firmly but carefully, like a kitten or a baby bird.

PARIS—Centre international de Paris, March 9, 1979. [Guy Le Querrec]
CHICAGO—Muhammad Ali in front of a stereo, 1966. [Thomas Hoepker]
UNITED STATES—James Dean, 1955. [Dennis Stock]
Marilyn Monroe listening to music, 1952. [Philippe Halsman]

(I normally don’t care for Marilyn, but what’s this? Head tilt, hip curve, clutching the bookcase so that the auditory ecstasy doesn’t make her fall over? OH HELLO THERE, lesbatronic moment)

WOLVERHAMPTON, England—The community center, 1978. [Chris Steele-Perkins]
BOW, East London—Two young emcees share a set of headphones, 2006. [Simon Wheatley]
CZECHOSLOVAKIA—In a wood near Prague, the sale of pop records on a Sunday, 1981. [Martine Franck]
DIJON, France—Supermarket Casino of Chenove, 1998. [Patrick Zachmann]

*

You can’t hug an mp3 (I know; I’ve tried)

Cymande – “Listen”

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It’s like you need to have steel/Just to feel relaxation.

The one where I post stunning AP pictures depicting firearm-heavy, theology-based conflict Somewhere Other Than the West Bank in 2009!

Just kidding.

An Israeli border police officer fires tear gas during a clash with Palestinians at a checkpoint between Jerusalem and Ramallah, October 8, 2009
[AP/Muhammed Muheisen]

A Palestinian boy reacts as youths frighten him by pointing their toy guns at him, in the West Bank refugee camp of Al-Amari in Ramallah [AP/Muhammed Muheisen]

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Cher, Nick Gilder, Scarly.


As a gay man, Cher curating the world of Sexy Clothes for ladies is a bit dubious. And I am not at one with the romper due to its evil hip-hiding ways.


(I call this “’94 pornstar hair and whimsical accessory.”
My friends would call this “When will you stop dressing like a 7-year-old being forced to walk the track by Dov Charney”
)

However, this is what Cher is referring to. Even though it makes it look like she doesn’t have various womanly attributes, still so foxy. The romper is a deceitful garment; I’ve known this for years.

When she goes downtown the boys all stop and stare*. OH SCARLY.

*Nick Gilder “Hot Child in the City.” Remember how I was just missing summer like 2 posts ago?
If I used cliches I might say something like Listening to this is like salt in the wound.
Let me also add IF YOUR HEART DOES NOT SOAR TO THIS SONG YOU ARE MOST LIKELY A TERRIBLE PERSON.

mp3.

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Oh Word? (Irving Penn edition)

The Hand of Miles Davis, New York, 1986.

I recognize it for the instrument it is – part Stradivarius, part scalpel.

– Irving Penn (1917-2009), on the camera.

(He also did this, his contribution toward scaring young girls looking through their parents’ record collections.)

What Penn does with an honesty that few of his peers can muster, is remind us that a body, rounded and grounded, is one of the more enthralling objects on earth.


– Anthony Lane, The New Yorker, 2002

Sunset Rubdown – “Apollo and the Buffalo and Anna Anna Anna Oh!”

mp3.

My god, i miss the way we used to be
so here’s a photograph for you to hold
it’s my picture right before i got old
it’s a picture of a buffalo
that we rode into extinction
that was the crime we committed in the night

That’s what the “Oh!” is for at the end of the song title. It’s ’cause beautiful lyrics like this make you say Ohhh. (And not Ohhh, like Ohhh damn why didn’t I think of that; just Ohhh, I’m glad somebody thought of that even if it wasn’t me.)


PS, what is a
sunset rubdown and may I please have one, please. Thanks.

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Communications 306: Images of Hip Hop in Popular Media

Meet me in the quad for a cup of fair-trade coffee after class today.

I am powered by hip-hop (coupled with a generous amount of sarcasm and hips); it fuels me and I see it everywhere I go. This makes me either the most obnoxious person in the world to watch TV/read the paper/peruse Internet news sites with (“Hey, it’s Bill Cosby on Tavis Smiley! How come I can’t find that episode of The Cosby Mysteries with a young Mos Def anywhere online?”), OR the most entertaining person in the world to watch TV with if you enjoy a good rap-music-reference dorkout. Like these:

1.

Amman, Jordan: A veiled woman, 09/28. [AP/Mohammad Abu Ghosh]


First I think, Holyshit, those lashes against the stark white, beautiful!

Then I think, Holyshit, that looks like the cover of Desire!, I wonder what Monchie is doing right at this exact moment. Does he like vanilla soymilk in his cereal, too? Then I rest my chin on my hand and daydream about our life together.

2.

Protesters march as they shout slogans against the International Monetary Fund (IMF) in Istanbul October 3, 2009. The IMF and World Bank meetings are taking place in the city from October 4-7. [REUTERS/Osman Orsal]

First I think, Foreign protests are always so much more clever and colorful than dumb old American protests. And goddammit if those kids don’t make me smile in those cheerfully pastel-colored house heads, despite the fact that they are protesting the very un-cheerful fact that the IMF is like a Payday Loans place for poor countries who can’t possibly ever pay back the money.

And then I, of course, think Girl I’ll house you upon seeing this image because everything is a joke to me – even protests against ever-deepening financial crises in poor countries. HOUSE MUSIC ALL NIGHT LONG (say what?). YOU IN MY HUT NOW. JBs y’all and TODD TERRY, sonnn.


Jungle Brothers – “I’ll House You”
mp3.

3.

Captain Kragen’s Dilla instrumental tie on SVU.

No explanation needed here; basically I saw it and yelled Hey that looks like The Shining (instrumental, black cover version)! Then I took pictures because I knew you skeptics out there wouldn’t believe that the worlds of Dick Wolf and James Yancey could come together so beautifully.

4.

Children play with their toy guns while waiting to exchange them for non-weapon-like toys as part of a government project to reduce violence in one of the most dangerous areas of the Port of Callao (Lima, Peru), September 22, 2009. [REUTERS/Mariana Bazo]

First I think, O’Shea?

Then I think, O’Shea!

(Not so much ’cause of the firearm, but ’cause of these kids’ eyebrow ridge! Witness the super tight Cube Scowl game of the youth above)


5.

President Barack Obama attends a roundtable discussion with health care providers during a visit to Children’s National Medical Center in Washington, Monday, July 20, 2009. [AP/J. Scott Applewhite]


There’s a thousand of yous/There’s only one of Kanyebear. And sometimes he poses with President Dreamboat.


6.

Children play in the yard outside their school in the West Bank Jewish settlement of Talmon, June 14, 2009. [REUTERS/Gil Cohen Magen]

First I think, I will pretty much always side with the rock-throwers over the tank-drivers in global conflicts over land and civil rights and the debate over whose god is the real God. However, the spirit of hiphop shall unite us all one day – both in life and on HeightFiveSeven.

Then I think, Stakes Is High, how that album cover is evoked in my head when I see the pic above. And I also think stakes is high. Because, you know, stakes really IS high.

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Har Mar. Jedi Robe Tricks. Mike H.

1. My agent did not apprise me of the casting of “Ambiguously ethnic girls who like glitter, pillow fights and popsicles” and now look, I got left out and didn’t get to kick it with Eva M. and Alia Shawkat on set.

Har Mar Superstar – “Tall Boy”

OF COURSE the dark-skinned lady is the one fellating a popsicle and this makes me say “Oh dear” to myself. Even if this image is ironic…umm, we’re not quite there yet as a culture. OH HAR MAR.
(I’m not looking to pick a fight with messages from media; fights just come lookin for me, you see.)

2. Jedi Bathrobe!
You know, so that The Force can help keep you warm and dry and not drip all over the carpet.

I hold down the Bronx like a fat Jedi/But my lightsaber’s not a laser, it’s a tech-semi.

Big Pun, “Loco Bananas”
(first and last Big Pun mention on here; I hope it was good for you)

This is so dope and so stupid that you must own it. And whenever you wear it, I will pounce and make sweet sci-fi love to you while softly whisper-rapping “You live at home with your mom” in your nerdy ear.

In a perfect Internet, Nas‘ “Star Wars” goes right here in mp3 form to help solidify this post
(ORHellz Wind Staff,” ’cause of that Luke Skywalker line),

but it just wasn’t meant to be (i.e., I couldn’t find it online because I’m inadequate).
S’ok, I’m gonna regroup, take some time to reflect, then come back even harder next time. Don’t lose faith in me.

3. NYC skate legend infiltrates my very Internet being. (sort of)

In the last 24 hours, a certain Mike Hernandez individual has come across my computer screen in 2 significant ways. He was last seen in Slap mag in my little brother’s room, in like ’95, but oh here we are, back together again.

First this,

NYC Bridge Rollers, riding high while propelled by the power of Faze-O. Much like myself.
Part of the “boys on fixies” trend that’s so hot a couple years back. ’07 STAND UP.

(via…I can’t remember. Prob Hypebeast.)

And this…back when getting your pic with him really meant something.
(Sorry, Hov!)

’98. Angela Boatwright photo.

Cheese Wagstaff – “New York.”
A) Remember this?, and
B) Whatever happened to this? Is it on an album, or no? Somebody take my hand and lead me to the light.

mp3.

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Harold. Akira Ruiz. David & Andrea.

.1.

It’s not the men in my life, it’s the life in my men.

– Mae West.

2. Found this picture of Spectacularly Pensive Ron-Ron,

and this one, which I have lovingly named “Slightly Less Pensive Ron-Ron, Plus Children, in Queens,”

then discovered they are both from Akira’s site. As are these:

His Air Force 1 series is beautiful. I am fond of it.



KR.

There’s this thing that I do not have but that I need.
It’s called
superior handstyle.

3. JESUS CHRIST, looka here.


The 2 hippies!, pre-Logan, pre-marriage, shutting it down and straight changing the game with all the weed and Coors you could dream of, Santa Cruz mountains, 1975.
I can hear “Suite: Judy Blue Eyes” playing as I look at this.

Now please stop asking me where I “get it from.”

(Just kidding; don’t stop! I like it.)

In a related story,

My Parents Were Awesome.

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