Category Archives: Epic white men

Elvis Costello and the Attractions, Blood & Chocolate (Demon/Columbia, 1986)

Blood and Chocolate

Literally.
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Bruce Springsteen, Darkness on the Edge of Town (Columbia, 1978)

Bruuuuuce

Chris Christie continues his clueless public fellating of The BOSSSSSSSS while remaining completely unaware that he is the villain of every song by The Boss, closing factories and forbidding his daughter to date the kid from the poor family and calling the Trenton PD to do a sweep of the homeless encampment down under the bridge. QUIT SHOWING UP IN GOOGLE SEARCHES OF “BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN,” JERKOFF.

Frank Zappa/Captain Beefheart/The Mothers, Bongo Fury (DiscReet, 1975)

Zappa Beefheart Mothers

“And I wanna tell ya, if there is anybody here who doesn’t believe that it is fuckin great to be alive, I wish they would go now, because this show will bring them down so much.”

Guys my first stunt for ’15 is an A-to-Z cover series, one per day, starting today. Z is, of course, for ZAPPA (with Captain Beefheart & the Mothers).

 

Gram Parsons, GP (Reprise, 1973)

GP 1

15-year-old me was heavily into eyeliner, Howard Zinn, and magnetic sad boys who’d never treat me right but would never bore me. My little brother was almost named Gram, though, so this tendency isn’t completely my fault; hips aren’t the only thing I inherited from my mom, youfeelme.

I’ve since come to my senses and stopped being a jerk – fetishizing fucked-up brain chemistry/sorrow is just a gross thing to do – but my fondness for Gram remains and I’ll prove it by singing every goddamn word on all of his records and wearing his name on my chest. (Thank you, Worn Free!)

PS, fun fact: it turns out EVERY song called “A Song for You” makes me break down and cry.

 

 

The shit’s chess; it ain’t checkers.

Baddest dude in a wheelchair since Ron Kovic and Snoop the non-crack-slanger in Training Day (he’s on Disability, man).

This might get me an annoyed email or two from religious boys who like rap music and skinny girls in bathing suits, but if that is you our love affair was not meant to be. Stay away from me; I’m trouble. “We should seek the greatest value of our action,” Hawking told the paper. In my case, that means blogging sporadically and cuddling with my records constantly.

Spinning out, gracefully
Going nowhere, quickly
I’m older, day by day
Still going back to my childhood way

Circuital
Round and round patiently
Getting lost by the guide
And I’m all worked up over nothing

Circuits
All in and out
Connect my body
Deep into the ground

Circuits
Connect the earth to the moon
And link our heavenly bodies
And not a moment too soon

Well you can fling open the windows
Or you can board them up
Satan’s jeweled crown
Or Christ’s humble cup

You think you’ll find yourself out there
Out in the lion’s den
In somebody’s battle
Over belief systems

Or disappear into the vacuum
Total neutrality
The way you can’t lose nothing
But nothing can be gained

Well anyway you cut it
We’re just spinning around
Out on the circuits
Over the hollow grounds
Out on the circuits
Over the hollow grounds
Heading right back in the same place
That we started out
Right back in the same place
Right back in the same place
That we starting out

Let her know

http://www.minneapolisfuckingrocks.com/conanmix/drdre_stilldre.mp3

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Random Tribute: Riding (but mostly just a tribute to Duane Allman photos)







The only people you should trust to teach you about the general history of the world are Chomsky and Zinn. (Everybody else is either on the payroll at Fox or is trying to get website hits by making up dumb outrageous facts.) And the only person you should trust to inform you of important events in the Allman Brothers story is the girl whose middle name is Melissa.

On March 12 and 13 in 1971, the Alllman Brothers Band’s At Fillmore East shows were recorded–40 long years, but put it on the platter and I swear it throbs like it was made yesterday. (For the record, “Live at the Fillmoe, East” is a Rappin 4-Tay/San Quinn collab song that has yet to be made, but it exists in my heart and in my fantasies.) Anyway, before Duane Allman’s crying guitar played over the montage of everybody from the Lufthansa heist getting theirs, the wreckage of past sins finally coming to light, his crying guitar played in the living room on the platter while I lay on my stomach and colored. I’m a grownup now but I have a thousand pictures of him on my laptop because I still love him. Sometimes I swear I see him at Trader Joe’s (nope; it’s just all the boys in the neighborhood go 7 months between haircuts and wear nothing bigger than an M in t-shirts). He was quiet in real life, they say, and he was usually high, plus he died when he was 24; these are qualities that usually make me fond of a musical individual. And before I wanted to ride with the kid, and before all I wanted to pretend my name was Sally so I could ride around with abandon (ride, Sally. Ride.), before I was down to ride and definitely before I was prepared to ride or die, before I fully committed to the hoo ride lifestyle, before I begged the sweet chariot to swing down, stop, and let me ride, before I loved breathless ladies’ man Toney Knight Rider, way before I wanted to ride the plain bow in flare gully yellow rain coat, before I Ruff Rode and really believed in the Stop, drop, shutemdown-openupshop mantra (which is what I will forever think of any time I hear “Free Earl”), before I obeyed when a Gulf Way Blvd g told me to pop the trunk, get it crunk, it’s time to ride, show them boys I got that front back and side to side, baby, basically before I ever wanted to take that ride, and way before I asked myself how should I ride?, I knew running away and riding was the way to go ’cause Duane and the last 12 frets on his guitar were like honey, let’s ride.

“Midnight Rider.”

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It’s OK if you think of that Devil’s Rejects opening when you hear it. I don’t mind. The shit was pretty incredible. (Good job, Rob.)

King Curtis – “Games People Play.” Duane’s guitar on this isn’t really a standout performance, but still. So lovely (01:20). And the original is kind of like “Ether” but directed at half of humanity, and with harmony and a la-la-la chorus.

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Look at this sorry ridiculous dumb bastard who will never ever see me naked NICE SHOES, sir!


Sour mash surgeon, heavy glass up at the Wally bash.

“A reveler takes a sip of bourbon as he sits next to a sleeping man on a couch during the Zulu Social Aid and Pleasure Club parade on St. Charles Avenue in New Orleans on Mardi Gras Day March 8.” (Patrick Semansky/Associated Press – The Big Picture)

Yo Gotti & 8Ball – “Walkin in Memphis” (Wally Sparks mix). Because I needed a Wally something or other to complete the post, of course, but also because Memphis meant “city of white walls” in ancient Egypt. And because the Civic has stock rims and nearly-bald tires, but this song is always on the playlist during hot sunny days driving around LA and it feels so good I’d swear I have gangster whites.

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Oh excuse me miss I couldn’t help but notice you have the same taste in clothing as epic white man Dennis Coffey.

L-R: Librarian, Coffey (back of Goin’ for Myself), stripper/librarian.

Silver magic ships you carry/Jumpers, coke, sweet Mary Jane. Dennis’ spooky pale intense face is pleasing and trance-y just like that Pusha T flaming GIF, and he obviously knows how to dress, but I’d like to focus for a sec on his quality production work, please. Sixto Rodriguez – “Sugar Man.”


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