I pray that none of you dummies find out that this site is actually run by a vinyl bro with a slightly underweight girlfriend (cc: @sexistdudesofinstagram, @idiotsworldwide). Until then, please continue being shockingly kind in my comments sections and sending me cover suggestions. (But stop it with that fucking Herb Alpert record, for the love of God.)
Nam-Myoho–Renge–Kyo and Hold It Now, HIT IT everybody, because it’s the date of birth of Frederick Jay Rubin!!, he of OG shamanic glory (sorry, RZA) and possessor of the single greatest rabbinical beard in hip-hop (aw, sorry Freeway). It’s a pain in the ass that banks and post offices are closed for the occasion, I realize, but show Uncle Rick a little respect.
Salman’s ex-wife again, and E trying to seduce me with his Rubin-esque rabbinical beard, glasses, and lovely voice.
My preliminary research tells me that sometimes boys sing songs to girls they like, and these songs contain messages like I think you are pretty and I want to be close to you and touch and kiss you. I‘m still gathering all the data, though, so I am hesitant to make this my formal hypothesis. Full report pending.
That look you give that guy, I wanna see Looking right at me. If I could be that guy, instead of me, I’d never let you down. I’d never let you down.
and because this version is extra wonderful even though it lacks the crucial Billy Preston keys of the original. Also, Spector really should get his own tag on this blog.I need to act right and do it already.
NYC District 27 Council MemberLeroy Comrie, I applaud this, your political bankshot. And I love your hometown repping-ness. Well done, sir. (And hey, do you know anyone who knows anyone who knows Monch so that I may become someone who knows Monch? Thanksssss.)
Russ decided to put his most recent mid-life crisis on display for us all and start dating a young, rather plain-looking model-y Caucasoid type (sorry Julie, yourwaist-to-hip ratio is the business: but that’s the only thing you’re bringing to the Sexy Table, mama.)I hear she loves his lisp, and they talk about the Dalai Lama and meditate together before they hop in the towncar and go to dinner at Cipriani. Ah, Buddhism.
She has this unfortunate little habit oftalking about racial-y kinds of stuffin public forums and not sounding particularly bright. That is not cute. I have a lot of opinions and I think I’m semi-bright, but even I know not to pull that move. OH JULIE.
The fact that he seems to find her alluring is great news for me, since evidently he likes the long-haired, skinny, not-all-that-beautiful, bikini-wearin’ type; it’s a little thing we callthe power of the WHR.Listen, the point is, Russ is totally about to fall in LUV with me (as soon as we meet) and you all are going to bear witness. Russ and I will hang out, we’ll discuss important music history matters, I’ll meet THE BAWSS Rick Rubin, not so I can do naked activities with Rick Rubin like some kinda dirty groupie but so I can ask Rick Rubin a plethora of questions about label politics and industry rule #4080, Lyor Cohen and Adrock and that time Russ bailed out Slick Rick for $800k, and the making of Raising Hell. Then Russ will discover I’m not going to do sexytime stuff with him and he will ask me to see myself out. He and I might try to be friends after that, even though we knowit’s impossible. The end.