Get low, Bus.

Even though I’m just a woman, a woman with a small brain (it’s science*), dainty lady-ness has a wonderful advantage when it comes to tactile sensations:

Women have a finer sense of touch than men due to smaller finger size, according to my boyfriend Science Daily. The facts of this discovery are described in sexy detail in the story – the central nervous system, for example, is stimulated by information sent by vibration receptors in the smaller fingertips of females. So because I’m a woman, when I feel it, you know, I really really feel it – whether it’s the flesh of a human male, a fluffy kitten, or the sexy sexy curve of the hole inside a 45. DOWN, BOY.

Next up, science, please explain the benefits of our smaller paychecks ’cause I’ve been struggling with that one for a minute now. Thanks, chief.

Of course, of courrrrse this story makes me think of that Busta song about French robots, ladies undressing, and echo-chamber handclaps. Touch it bring it pay it watch it turn it leave it stop format it. And then, once more with feeling: Touch it bring it pay it watch it turn it leave it stop format it.

First time I heard it, my brain rattled against my skull a tiny bit courtesy of Swizzy. I’m fine now, with medication and regular MRIs. ’05, nice to see you again, old friend.

mp3.

* The Eiffel Tower = metal + brawn.

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