Media trend that I do not understand or care for #5,360: Pale-skinned ladies looking uncomfortable and this allegedly being sexy

From the land of the Straight Male Gaze (i.e., print media…oh hell, the entire world) comes all these recent photo shoots arguing that THIS IS THE SEX:

I like a pretty pretty lady just like every other stripper/librarian in this town, but the ones depicted above don’t make me clamor to give them an invitation to the pants party. Somebody please explain; I’m like a (tiny, adorable) doe lost in the woods.

Handsome Furs – “I’m Confused”

mp3.

GQ/Details/Esquire, I believe that Allure mag has sonned you in terms of sexy-girl photographic imagery – and Allure is a mag for ladies. It shouldn’t be this way, but sometimes it takes a competitor in the world of periodicals to come along and make you rethink your photo shoot direction. I mean, I think we all remember where we were, what time it was, and what we were wearing when we first experienced

THIS.

(Sorry for fucking up your whole program. I should’ve warned you not to click unless you want to make sure you are completely distracted the rest of the day. I still haven’t recovered)

PS – UHHMM. Buddy buddy buddy all in my face? Additional photo-shoot confusion.

My former Internet paramour Malin. This leaves me feeling awkward, and that’s hard to do, and it leaves me feeling dirty, and not in a good way, and this is bad, so bad, and NOT bad meaning good like it’s ’85. It could be because the dainty undergarments are black; I just don’t know. I want to run away from this, as I am feeling besmirched.

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