Los Angeles Woman Gets Migraine Upon Learning of Chicago Man Taking Credit for Producing a Song When Really He Just Added Fuzziness and a Drum Track Over a Classic.


  Oh dear. It appears that you are upset due to the fact that Otis is styling on you.



I’m the old guy in the back of the party grumbling about how old things are better than new things. Have you seen my hips, though? I can get away with behaving this way.

Stax, ‘66
Dawson, GA

part of my spiritual-practice laws, like how Muslims take their shoes off before praying.

One more episode down, just two to go in season four — and the dominoes keep tumbling. Rome is burning (oh, yes, that metaphor again!) in the offices of SCDP, and everything is changing. Fast. Right, Don? “Nothing should change,” says Don. “Nothing will change.” Yeah, thanks, Don.

we’ve been going on about this pleasure-punishment trope in recaps here all season long.

Otis Redding]
You won’t be ready, no, no
No, girl they won’t forget it
Love is their home..
Squeeze her, don’t tease her
Never leave her..

[Jay-Z]
Sounds so soulful don’t you agree?
I invented: swag, poppin bottles
Putting supermodels in the cab
Proof: I guess I got my swagger back
Truth: new watch alert, Hublots
Or the big face Rollie? I got two of those
Arm out the window through the city
I’mma do it slow
Cock back, snap back
See my crack through the holes

[Kanye West]
Damn Weezy and Hov
Where the hell ya been?
Talking real reckless: stuntman
I adopted these niggas, drummin them
Now I’m about to make them tuck their whole summer in
They say I’m crazy, but I’m about to go dumb again
They ain’t seen me cause I pulled up in my other Benz
Last week I was in my other OTHER Benz
Throw your diamonds up
Cause we in this bitch and up again

[Jay-Z]
Photo shoot fresh
Looking like wealth
I’m bout to call the paparazzi on myself
Live form the Mercer
Run up on Yeezy the wrong way
I might murk ya
Flee in the G450 I might surface
Politically refugee asylum can be purchased
Everything’s for sale, I got 5 passports
I’m never going to jail

[Kanye West]
I made Jesus Walks, so never going to hell
Couture level flow is never going on sale
Luxury rap, the Hermes of verses
Sophisticated ignorance
Write my curses in cursive
I get it custom, you a customer
You ain’t accustomed to going through customs
You ain’t been nowhere hah?
And all the ladies in the house got them showing off
I’m done I’ll hit you up manana!

[Jay-Z]
Welcome to Havana
Smoking Cubana’s with Castro and Cabanna’s
Viva Mexico, Cubano, Dominicano
All the clubs that I know
Driving Benz’s with no benefits
Not bad huh, for some immigrants?
Build your fences, we digging tunnels
Can’t you see we gettin money up under you?

[Kanye]
Can’t you see the private jets flying over you?
Maybach bumper sticker reads:
“What would Hova do?”
Jay is chillin, Ye is chillin
What more can I say?
We killing em
Hold up before we end this campaign
As you can see we bodied the damn lames
Lord please let them accept the things they can’t change
And pray that all of their pain be champagne

Cold hard facts: Reasons the OG “Try a Little Tenderness” is superior to Kanye’s.

1. A song’s title should reflect what that song is about or at least be tangentially related to what the song is about.

Written in 1932, “Try a Little Tenderness” is about Brave New World – it’s an analysis of Huxley’s vision of a dystopian future in which government uses technology to dominate a nation’s people. And the last verse is a tribute to Babe Ruth and the Yankees sweeping the Cubs in the World Series. OH WAIT–no. It’s not. It’s about trying some tenderness. “Otis,” however, is just a bunch of Cigar Aficionado stuntin and attempts to downplay the obvious homoerotic tension between two millionaires.

It’s an instruction. “Try the following: ______.” It’s helpful.

Fucking hell, the best thing we could do for him is stop looking in his direction. RE: this blog post, obviously I need to take my own advice. Listen to some new Nickatina instead. It’s called “Shark.” It’s about him being a shark. (and when you say Somebody ask Alice Walker bout the color purple” you automatically get a nod on the blog of lady English major)

2. Al Jackson jr. ALL DAY.

What is the expression? Something about a knife and a gunfight?

This is not an argument, of course, but a statement that we all know to be true and that we need to be reminded of from time to time. Ladies and gentlemen, we are floating in space. It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice. Do unto others. And AL JACKSON JUNIORRRR.

3. To get the listener to care what happens, a story’s protagonist should be a sympathetic figure (not a jerk).

“I’ll never go to jail!” – Jay-Z, “Otis.”

Whether you’re Casey Anthony (murder, allegedly) or Jay (murdering the game, factually, ’97-’05), if you say this, you’re referring to yourself as having some privilege that the rest of us should be so fortunate to be blessed with (being white and sorta[?] cute in Casey’s case; being rich in J and K’s case). It’s a jerk thing to say. Therefore, you’re a jerk. She has her grief and care aren’t Otis’ words but he really means them. I can tell. He’s a good dude. A 6’1″ good dude with his heart leaping outta his throat. If it weren’t for his tragic lack of substance abuse problem I would’ve definitely been prepared to be his side piece, or his other side piece. Or his other other side piece. Sorry, Mom!

4. Balance. (a song should have it)

Closing a door very gently, you pull with one hand, push with the other. – James Richardson.

.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.