Tag Archives: Billy Beck

Faze-O, Good Thang (She, 1978)

faze o 1264

Chose this one for the OH SHIT EDDIE BONGO BROWN PLAYS ON HERE factor as well as the creamy dessert factor. I just finished a Muhammad Ali bio containing the delicious factoid that he celebrated taking Liston in 7 (the first time) by eating vanilla ice cream, hanging with Jim Brown, then taking a nap on Malcolm X’s bed. It’s 2014 now, Jim likes to hit women so we can’t hang out, and Malcolm is unavailable, but at least I got the ice cream plus I’m the greatest, I must be the greatest, and I’m pretty, I shook up the world, I’m a baaaad maaan, and did you hear I’m the greatest? I am.

I was unable to go full Open-Mouth/Do Things to My Body Daddy for the camera as pictured on the cover. I am physically unable to perform such a cornball stunt.


Ohio Players, Contradiction (Mercury, 1976).

contradiction 3-2

Have you guys ever played a spirited round of “The Westbound Ohio Players were the best and here is why/No no you fool the Mercury Ohio Players were the fucking best and here is why”? When I’m drunk, this game is raucous and fun. When I’m not drunk, it’s the worst, and the people I’m playing against are always insufferable and don’t listen even though I make REALLY GOOD POINTS. (The situation’s the same when you play “Strata-East vs. Black Jazz” and “Human females collect and actually know shit about records: yes or no”: participants get heated, feelings get hurt.)

Anyway, I don’t have a solid position in the debate – it depends on whether I’m drinking rum or vodka and the evening’s phase of the moon and how Kobe’s knee is coming along and whether or not I’ve just listened to “Far East Mississippi”  – but I do know the song order on Contradiction is all fucked up (sluggish side A should be switched with banging side B), the guys sure rebounded nicely from their Junie split, “Far East Mississippi” is my cut, and yes, still, even after all these years, I will not hide the fact that I’d lovvvve to share the same astrological sign as Sugarfoot given my feelings about bass, but I’m still happy to be a fabulous Arian like my guys Satch and James. (Drums n’ horns are my side boyfriends when bass is out of town.)