Good fucking riddance: Joey Crawford, Pitbull, the word “framily,” Toyota commercials that have managed to make me hate the Muppets (!), Mark Jackson and JVG’s cornball love affair, Dwight Howard’s big dumb face, Klay Thompson’s big dumb face, having to type “Klay” spelled that way, amateur psychoanalysis of Roy Hibbert, people defending poor Don Sterling (LOLOLLLLLL), Deron Williams’ disturbing hair, the nickname “the Servant,” and LeBron Raymone James. NOW LET’S GO TO WORK, KHALIL MACK.
I’m still deeply invested in the playoffs, guys, so my album recreation output continues to be somewhat stifled. My 2 beloved worlds of televised sporting events and recorded music intersected in a weird, cosmic way this week, though, as I picked this record at random and noticed that it’s produced by LOGAN WESTBROOKs(!), a clear indication that OKC is trolling me. Nice try, Russ, Sefolosha, and Cawrong Butler.
Anyway, Chuck says “Gimme the bridge, yall” at all the wrong moments in the title track. I hate that ex-Hoya Hibbert seems to be battling some Space Jam demons inside his enormous body. Dan Snyder remains a fucking terrible human being. And John Wall lacks a Jamal Crawfordesque buttery crossover. But still – DC, I love you. Please accept my humble tribute.